did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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