to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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