She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
