dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
