it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We have started to decorate penises.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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