i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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