I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
