im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
