Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
