i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize