Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
