Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
