the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
