Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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