Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
