and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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