I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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