do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize