What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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