i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize