That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
