yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize