i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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