I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize