There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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