physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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