His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
