highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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