If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
