Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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