i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
