i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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