Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
