we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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