actually, I'm a sock model
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
