YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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