He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize