I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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