that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
