East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
