I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
