ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
