I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
we're so committed to being not committed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
