theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
