I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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