Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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