He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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