tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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