But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
