Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
