addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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