She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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