What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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