Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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