How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
