So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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