It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
