I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
