I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
