Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just had sex on a roof
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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